Kathy said during evening on November 25, 2008
So, remember all that stuff I said about having house guests for Thanksgiving and all the mushy picnic table talk? Well scratch that. My guests have called and canceled at the last minute. I won’t get into why or whether I’m surprised (which honestly, I’m not) but in light of this new development that leaves interesting things to ponder. Such as…
What the hell am I going to do with a 19 lb turkey? There is two of us and a 3 year old… had I known I would have gotten a small turkey breast and called it a day. But now there is the inconvenient truth of the thawing 19 pounder in my fridge. I’ve gotten a couple good suggestions on what to do with it:
- Donate it to a soup kitchen (I could, I would.. but its far and that’s not fun..)
- Throw it off the 2nd story deck into the backyard
- Drag it behind my car around the neighborhood
- Put children’s clothes on it and tie it to the front of our golf cart and drive it to Target
- Re-freeze it and then let it skid down our very steep hill of a street into the cul-de-sac and repeat as needed
- Cook it and eat turkey sandwiches until I can’t look at turkey ever again (likely but again with the non-fun)
- Paint it to look like a rock and hide it in a neighbors garden
- Name it, put it in a stroller and walk it around telling people I had another baby .. then watch their reactions
- Hang it on the front door like a holiday wreath
- Bring it to a nail salon and ask them to give it a pedicure
- Put it under my shirt and pretend to give birth in the parking lot of the grocery store (suggestion courtesy of Joelle)
Obviously, this is still a rough draft… I welcome your humble recommendations.
Kathy said during mid-morning on November 22, 2008
I’ve suddenly become unexpectedly required to cook and entertain Thanksgiving dinner this year. As much as I was looking forward to a quiet, no-pressure, cook if we feel like it Turkey Day, I am a little bit looking forward to the festiveness of the day. When I was a kid I loved Thanksgiving because it brought some expected change to our house. My mother always cooked and that itself brought a new dynamic to the house. She’d be up early in her bathroom rubbing oil on a turkey.. (I swear I just said that with a straight face) and we’d drag the picnic table in the house to accommodate our large family for dinner. She’d bring out the while laced table cloth and we’d have candles and the house would be kind of hot from the oven. I’d watch the parade in my pajamas while my mom slaved on a stuffing recipe.
In truth, from her perspective it probably was a big pain in the ass. For me it meant the picnic table set up remained the whole weekend and we got to eat turkey sandwiches there. I was always bummed when the picnic table left. So I’m cooking and although I won’t be dragging a picnic table in the house I still have that whole vibe going on in my head. Turkey is already thawing (a 19 lb-er) and I have my list prepared for the insanity at the grocery stores. I’m not sure what inspired I write this but I had to get that picnic table memory out of my head.
I guess this time of year is when I get my nostalgia geared up since the day after Thanksgiving we will be inundated with Holiday commercials and fa la la until we want to stab people. I may cling to this Thanksgiving feeling as long as I can to thwart the Holiday madness. It’s hard to do when your neighbors put their xmas lights up the day after Halloween but I can try. I will eat turkey stuffing and cranberry sauce sandwiches until I puke if I have to.
Are YOU cooking this year?
Kathy said during breakfast time on October 1, 2008
How nice of me. I spew forth my potty training PMS enraged rant on the Internet and then disappear for weeks. What a brat! No real progress has been made with regard to the potty training despite my best efforts but I decided to just go with the flow (that theme seems to slip from my grasp now and again) and just take it as it is. No sense in becoming enraged over it. I’ve moved on. Other than that I’ve been busy with work, new clients, lots of email and paperwork and just general Moxie related stuff. All good stuff mind you, I can’t complain one bit. We have lovely clients. So while I swim through the approaching holiday rush I wanted to pimp a few things that are of importance to me and hopefully will be of interest to you.
First, I’ve been spending most of my spare blogging time posting over at SafeMama.com, and we just launched a sister site on Friday that all the moms from SafeMama have been begging for. We know how hard it is to take care of our kids, families, pets and work responsibilities and our personal care gets left in the dust. We’ve been greening, or trying to at least, our own beauty routines so we decided to share our findings with you! Welcome LovelyMama! We’ve tried so many products in our quest for greener beauty because let’s face it, we don’t want to smell or look like a cave painting in the process. I still love beauty products, I just focus now on finding fabulous ones that aren’t full of chemicals. I hope you’ll pop over, subscribe and visit us at LovelySafeMama.com!
The second item I wanted to bring up was the 7th Annual Blogger Boobiethon! As many of you already know, the Boobiethon all started with an “innocent” attempt to get a lonely friend down to Florida for Thanksgiving and it turned into a giant fundraiser to benefit breast cancer awareness. Joelle and I have participates and donated every year since the beginning and we are so happy to contribute again this year. Our wonderful colleague and friend Mel has done a great job of continuing the tradition of the Boobiethon and we thank her for all her hard work. I hope you’ll send in your rack to help raise money for the Susan G Komen Foundation or pitch in a few bucks to help the cause. With a donation of $50 or more you gain access to the uncovered boobies… free boobs for a great cause. Head on over to check out the event which is running this week October 1st - October 7th!
Kathy said during evening on September 12, 2008
Why is it that when you’re trying to potty train a child, who is more than happy to sit in his own filth for literally, an eternity… every other kid you run into his age is completely potty trained? I am so sick of trying and I haven’t even gotten anywhere with it yet. What’s worse is that every mother of those completely potty trained children asks me “Have you tried the Cheerios?”, “Have you tried the 10 day Japanese method?”, “Have you tried [insert method of choice here]?”. It’s not that I resent them for having had success (ok well maybe a little) but its even more defeating when people ask you what you have not tried and of course, NO I haven’t locked myself in the house with a 2 1/2 year old for 10 days straight without leaving because ARE YOU BLOODY INSANE, WOMAN?
I guess what frustrates me the most is that every tactic I try fails miserably and I end up getting more aggravated and pissed off and probably make the situation worse. He knows what is supposed to happen. He knows the drill. Yet instead, I walk in to find him standing in the middle of the living room pissing on the carpet through his Thomas the Train underwear and watching it.... then pees the entire way to the toilet while I carry him there and then once ON the toilet, he stops peeing.
I know this isn’t supposed to be something to get upset over and in the grand scheme not a huge deal but COME ON. He’ll be 3 in a few months and I am over diapering. I hate when we’re at a store and he poops and I end up having to change him on one of those “baby” changing stations that he is BIGGER than. I feel like I am changing the diaper of a 10 year old on those things. I’ve tried putting him in underwear and explaining. He just pees in the underwear. I’ve tried pull-ups and a rewards/star chart to make him excited to go. That lasted a day and now he tells me “Maybe later”.
Then I have the family members with their words of wisdom. I am just so over getting unsolicited advice on how to do it. I know they’re trying to help but it doesn’t. I hate even talk about it. And the fact that I am over it makes being patient with him impossible. I am supposed to treat accidents like no big deal and basically walk on eggshells around him when he pees on my rugs, couch, chairs, clothes because god forbid I scare the pee back up into his bladder.
Ok I’m done. Eff potty training.
Kathy said during breakfast time on September 9, 2008
I have never said much in the way of politics since its usually such a delicate subject and I don’t like confrontation. However, as I get older (and my geriatric hip pain is the real evidence) I am much less worried about a potential disagreement. Living part time in Georgia, I knew there would be an adjustment. It’s the south, people are different than folks in the Northeast. I am clearly from the Northeast. I even have a slight residual Long Island accent to prove it. (Joelle caught a glimpse of it when I visited and giggled). One of the main differences between Georgia and New York is that here, people assume. In New York, you never assume anything about someone because you might put your foot in your mouth if you do. You don’t assume their religious beliefs, you don’t assume their heritage, their relationship preferences, sexual preferences, economic status, and you certainly don’t assume their political views. In Georgia, most people assume you are just like them. At a local establishment the other day I started chatting with the sales girl and while we waited she did just that. Assumed. She assumed I was a Christian Republican and started gushing about how great it was that McCain selected Sarah Palin and “how great is she???”.
I swallowed hard and plainly told her I didn’t care for Palin and her political or religious views but that it was nice to see women playing a bigger role in higher political positions. I also got an earful about her views on abortion and how if you choose an abortion you will be “judged later” in that “you know what I mean” tone. She simply “could not vote for someone who is FOR abortion”. Right, because supporting a woman’s right to choose means you support abortion. *insert huge eye roll* But it’s ok to shoot innocent animals from a helicopter, apparently.
I didn’t get into it with her that I firmly believe in a woman’s right over her own life and body. That it makes me sick to think that some Christian politician can decide what I can and cannot do. That doesn’t mean I support abortion, it means I support human rights. I am voting for Obama this election and I am most certainly not a Christian. I may need to send a memo to Georgia about that.
Wow, totally didn’t intend on posting a political diatribe this morning.
Kathy said during breakfast time on August 29, 2008
Me: Babe, there is a big toad in the driveway covered in flies.. it smells awful.
Him: I saw it. A bird will pick it up.
Several minutes later...
Me: Babe, there is a big toad in the driveway covered in flies.
Him: Yeah I know...a bird will pick it up.
Several minutes later...
Me: Babe, there is a big toad in the driveway covered in flies. 
Him: 
Several minutes later...
Me: Babe, there is a big toad in the driveway covered in flies.
Him: *gets a shovel*
After 9 years you would think he’d catch on by now.
