Kathy said around breakfast time on April 22, 2008
There is one thing I really dislike about parenting. Tough love. I can take the sleepless nights (ask me that again one day), the crying, the scraped knees, the splinter removals, the tantrums… I can even take my fair share of poop under the fingernail. But this part, the part that requires me admitting I know what’s best for him even if it means my heart breaks into a tiny million pieces. Of course, this is nothing on the grand scale. As Joelle put it “Wait until he is 16 and screaming YOU RUINED MY LIIIIIFE!!!! because you took away his Wii privileges”. And she is totally right. There are worse things about parenting to come.
But at 10pm when your 2 year old is crying pitifully in his bed for his binkie and you can’t give it back because if you do, you’ll make things worse rather than better, you just feel like the worse Mom on the planet. That’s right, we’ve begun Project Binkie Removal™. I never intended for my kid to get hooked on a binkie. I never gave him once since I breastfed but one day he just took one and never looked back. He loved it since then and I thought he’d get bored of it just like he got bored of bottles. But he didn’t. It was never allowed outside his crib, so it’s not an issue impeding speech (he never stops talking....ever....) or blocking any social interaction. He had it for naps and bedtime. But he’s 2 years old an then some and I have had this sinking feeling it was just time to start the process seeing just how attached he’s become to it.
Night 1: Cried, in waves...especially when he couldn’t find it (because it wasn’t there)… then stayed up until 10 reciting colors, the alphabet, counting and singing songs. Was restless through the night but didn’t get up. Got up a little earlier than usual but was cheery and bouncing up and down in his usual mood. If that’s the worst of it, we’re in good shape.
Now if I can still get his usual 3 hour nap without a binkie I’m golden. I think my luck might run out on that one but we’ll see how it goes today. If I blog again later drunk you’ll know the outcome.
from Virginia Beach, VA
My best friend’s son was HOOKED on his binky. Instead of taking them away, she cut all the tips off them. He did not feel like they were taken away, and within 3 days he lost interest in them, because without the tips, they did not do the same thing for him, he could not get the suction on them.
Good Luck!
from your moms.
Heh. I thought at first you were talking about a blanket. After reading soapbox.SUPERSTAR’s comment, I now realize you’re talking about a soother.
And I concur: cut the tips off. But be glad he took to a binky. We didn’t give a binky to our youngest, and she took to sucking her fingers. She still sucks them. She’s 4 and a half.
:|
from West Palm Beach, FL
Cocktail: Champagne Bellini
I wouldn’t take away his blankie! What kind of monster do I look like??
I’d to the cut tip thing but, I already took it away. Giving it back, even mangled will send him the wrong message, I think. Don’t want to confuse the kid. I have to just commit to the cold turkey process I started.
from your moms.
I don’t know how my parents did it, but I vividly remember my brother and I throwing ours out on one of our birthdays. We did it ourselves, and there was no crying or anything. It was just like, “Time to throw them out!”, and we did.
I don’t know if that makes up for the time that they convinced us there were elves outside though.
from your moms.
My niece was hooked on her “suckie” as we call them as well. Until she was almost 3. She would try to talk to me around it, and I’d say, “I can’t understand you. You gotta take the suckie out.” And so she’s take it out and say, “Aunt Faith, can we watch Blues Clues?” And then immediately pop it back in her mouth. It was a sickness, I tell ya.
But I also am not one to talk...I sucked my thumb until I was 9. No. Shit.
from Orlando, FL
Cocktail: Cabernet Sauvignon; gallons of it.
I think my sister still sucks her thumb. She’s a year younger than me. I’m 45.
I can’t figure out for the life of me why her teeth aren’t sticking out at a horizontal 90 degree angle yet.
from your moms.
I know what you mean, but not with the binkie. For us it was the bottle. And now it’s the sippy cup. It’s the worst thing. But I’m with Joelle. And I’m waiting for that day to come, along with many others. LOL You’ll be ok.
from Clearwater, FL
Long time reader, first time commenter.
Since you’ve already taken them away how about (something a friend of mine did).
After several nights of feeling like a horrible mother she thought that maybe, just maybe if she told her son that his binkies went to a better place he may be able to let go easier. So late one night she wrote a letter in big blue crayon to her son from a little baby boy thanking her son for sending him his binkies. The letter said something along the lines of “thank you for sending me your binkies - you must be a big boy now – I can’t wait until I’m a big boy too”. After she read her son the thank you letter and told him how proud she was of him she hung the letter by his crib and told him that every time he missed his binkie he should look at the letter and think about the baby that needs them more. I even think she printed a random picture of a little baby boy off line and put it with the letter.
Her son was closer to 3 and I’m not sure if a 2 year old can comprehend the story but maybe something along those lines. Giving him a reason or story to hold on too to explain the loss? I don’t know…what I do know is how hard these things can be and how Moms just feel for other Mom’s going through these tough moments. Good Luck