Kathy said around during nap time on October 25, 2007
I’m sure I am not the only one, but I swear sometimes, I feel like I am the only mom on the planet that hates participating in mommy groups.
Now, don’t get me wrong… I want to attend these functions. I want Reilly to meet other kids and learn silly songs and interact with the world in a safe place. I do. I really really really do. But there is a part of me that just hates being a joiner. I never have been that person. The perky girl in high school that organized dances or was president of the Whatever Committee who stockpiled cray paper and painted homecoming banners. It just wasn’t me. I was a little shy, a little introverted and was the girl who turned bright red when asked to play solo during band practice.
I prefer alone time. I like working alone. I like being alone… not all the time but you know what I mean. However, I’ll sacrifice my comfort zone for my kid. I’ll do it for my sanity and for his. I am totally willing to ignore all of that awkwardness so that Reilly can do all the fun things kids do. But, when I get to these kinds of things… my inner geek is just cringing for having to sing Ring Around the Rosie with all the other cheery moms. (Seriously, who is that cheerful at 9:30am??) Of course I sing it. Reilly smiles and claps and cheers and shakes (he loves to shake shake shake...so cute) and its worth it. It’s worth it to me for him. But I can never shake the feeling that I am not like those mothers in these groups. I don’t want to BE those moms, I just wish that one time I could meet a mom who thinks the Itsy Bitsy Spider is lame and drops the f bomb once in a while.
I’ll keep going, I’ll keep participating… but I’ll be looking desperately for the mom in the group who is secretly rolling her eyes.
from Boston
I tried out three moms groups. Three. I hated them all - so it’s a good thing my daughter gets her socialization on at school. However I am vowing to be more open minded this time when new baby comes along in May. We’ll see.
from Virginia Beach, VA
Cocktail: Calypso Cooler
f bomb once in a while...not me.
f bomb way too much (along with others)… I’m your gal!
from your moms.
Ring around the Rosie at 9:30 in the morning? no freaking way. Alot of my friends here have kids that are pretty close in age and we have never sang ring around the rosie at 9:30 in the morning! Actually we’ve never gotten together before noon ever! lol
from Farm Country, PA
Cocktail: Your Mom
I did it for the kid too. Honestly, as you well know, most of the women around here are bitches. I spend the majority of his classes muttering “get over yourself” to the women next to me that have on FULL MAKEUP and hair for a baby swim class. :| *slicks abe vigoda brows out of my eyes*
That said, there is one class that’s four of us and they seem kinda cool. Not cool enough to swear around, but nice enough to get together with for lunch now and then. And the one mom’s group I actually did join, I’ve been to two events and met one girl who is much more like us. She just wants to save her sanity. And she drinks beer. Out of the bottle. And swears like a sailor. Much more my speed. So now I try to get together with just her.
from your moms.
I’ve been a mother for 12 years now and have NEVER done one of those groups. Heh.
from Tampa, FL
oh man. I am so not a ‘group person’. I have tried. Most of the moms I meet though are like 19. Pfft. Not. Happening.
You try to have a conversation with one of them and you get “OMIGOD. Did you see where Br1tn3y wasn’t wearing any undies the other day??? *gasp*...”
Ugh. No way man. That right there ended my group experience. It was too ridiculous to even blog about.
from Ontario, Canada
I just started going to the baby storytime at the library and felt completely socially inept. It looks like all of the mommies there are newer to the mommy/playgroup experience too, so it’s like going to a dance in middle school when everyone stands against the walls of the gym while the music plays. Except the music is about trains and wheels going round and round.
from your moms.
They’re there, hiding. Eventually, someone’s cheery smile will crack.
from your moms.
i wish we lived closer. because i’d be making snide remarks in the back of the room and rolling my eyes. and totally dropping the f bomb.
one of the guys that j used to work with is trying to get me to join something like that w/his girlfriend after the baby’s born. (she’s due 1 month after me w/their 2nd.) i just don’t think i’ll be able to do it. i don’t want to be supermom. i just want to be good enough for him/ us.
from West Palm Beach, FL
Cocktail: Champagne Bellini
@Everyone: Well where the hell are all you cool people? Everyone move to Georgia!
from KY
I get so upset when none of the other moms are rolling their eyes. It’s quite stressing.
from Central Florida
I’ve always sucked at Mom groups. I was so glad when it was time to just send them off to school.
I think Mom groups are full of one-uppers and I hate those types.
from Mouseville™
Jen and I lived in the same town but were about a freakin’ hour apart. That blew.
I never could do it either. Tried with the first. Never bothered with the second. Pregnancy with a toddler in tow turns you quite apathetic.
from MI
...trying to break a body wash collecting habit. LOL! What is it with body wash (lotions, etc.) that we love so much????
from your moms.
You are in the south. Accept that you are different and there are very few people like you. But seriously, I learned the hard way that having children the same age does not mean you have anything in common with most of those women. There’s this mindset in the south (at least in my opinion) that mommies all need to hang out together and their children have to all be BFFs and it’s like blogging: Just because a group of people blog does not mean they really have anything in common. You’re doing the right thing, though, putting up with the BS and putting yourself out there for your kid. Next thing you know, you’ll be the team mom for the soccer team.
from Vienna, VA
OHHH another mom just like me!!!
I am soo the same way...and I have been to um, well 6 or 7 different play groups...One I paid to join, and was KICKED out because my kid did not “play” the way they thought he should (he hit a girl over the head when she took his toy, but in his defense he was only 1 1/2)...Then the other day I had an email from another group that I go to sometimes, talking about me (behind my back, or so they thought) saying my business was not good enough to use to “teach” the other members about…
UGH I am not only sick of the “always perky” people but also the politics that have to go into play when dealing with them!
Great post!
from chocolate city, baby!
ha! i luv it!! i’m not a joiner either… never was a club joiner or a team joiner or a clique joiner… and i’m not about to be a mommy group joiner.
from Atlanta
Where were you when I was searching for mom friends? I went to a crappy moms group for a year-and-a-fucking-half before I found some decent mom friends. Now they’re all talking about moving away and I want to chain myself to them and cry, “You can’t leave me!”