Kathy said around evening on September 12, 2008
Why is it that when you’re trying to potty train a child, who is more than happy to sit in his own filth for literally, an eternity… every other kid you run into his age is completely potty trained? I am so sick of trying and I haven’t even gotten anywhere with it yet. What’s worse is that every mother of those completely potty trained children asks me “Have you tried the Cheerios?”, “Have you tried the 10 day Japanese method?”, “Have you tried [insert method of choice here]?”. It’s not that I resent them for having had success (ok well maybe a little) but its even more defeating when people ask you what you have not tried and of course, NO I haven’t locked myself in the house with a 2 1/2 year old for 10 days straight without leaving because ARE YOU BLOODY INSANE, WOMAN?
I guess what frustrates me the most is that every tactic I try fails miserably and I end up getting more aggravated and pissed off and probably make the situation worse. He knows what is supposed to happen. He knows the drill. Yet instead, I walk in to find him standing in the middle of the living room pissing on the carpet through his Thomas the Train underwear and watching it.... then pees the entire way to the toilet while I carry him there and then once ON the toilet, he stops peeing.
I know this isn’t supposed to be something to get upset over and in the grand scheme not a huge deal but COME ON. He’ll be 3 in a few months and I am over diapering. I hate when we’re at a store and he poops and I end up having to change him on one of those “baby” changing stations that he is BIGGER than. I feel like I am changing the diaper of a 10 year old on those things. I’ve tried putting him in underwear and explaining. He just pees in the underwear. I’ve tried pull-ups and a rewards/star chart to make him excited to go. That lasted a day and now he tells me “Maybe later”.
Then I have the family members with their words of wisdom. I am just so over getting unsolicited advice on how to do it. I know they’re trying to help but it doesn’t. I hate even talk about it. And the fact that I am over it makes being patient with him impossible. I am supposed to treat accidents like no big deal and basically walk on eggshells around him when he pees on my rugs, couch, chairs, clothes because god forbid I scare the pee back up into his bladder.
Ok I’m done. Eff potty training.
from Pasadena, CA
Ugh. Painful. I’ve heard boys take longer, but this is just whack.
from Orlando, FL
Cocktail: Cabernet Sauvignon; gallons of it.
Ouch. You know, I’d make some smart-ass comment about kitty litter, but—nah.
I truly hope some light flips on and he “gets it” soon. From the clean up standpoint, constantly sopping up pee is highly stressful, anger-inducing and frustrating; whether it’s your kid or your cat who peed. [And I only mention the cat part because we went through a horror-show for six months with ours; it turned out he just didn’t like the kitty litter we’d bought. Duh.]
It will all work out eventually; it HAS to. :|
from Ocala, FL
I had a very similar issue. The boy just wouldn’t potty train. He eventually got it - later than everyone I knew, but I guess he just wasn’t ready when I needed him to be. The good news is, he’s 13 now and I haven’t thought of that in years. You will get through this.
from your moms.
Have you heard of many adults who “just never got the hang of it?”. Seriously-if you try to force it before he’s ready-you’ll just drive yourself and him nuts. He’ll let you know when he’s ready. Boys often take into their 3s to get it.
from Massachusetts
My son was 4 before he was completely and totally trained. I went through all the tricks and suggestions and finally just gave up, sure that I would be diapering him in high school until one day he just decided it was time on his own.
from your moms.
*pours champagne cocktail*
from your moms.
Amen, sister. I feel your pain. Our oldest turned four in July and was still going in his diapers. It, frankly, was getting embarrassing to ME when we were in public and I was still changing my four-year-old’s diapers. We tried EVERYTHING. And endured all the outside, unsolicited suggestions you mentioned you endure, as well. After he had an accident in his pants a few days after his birthday, my husband looked at me and said, “THAT’S it! I am so done with this.” Said four-year-old was informed he couldn’t have any ice cream or Coke (we let him have soda when we’re out at restaurants) until he went in the potty all the time. And whadda ya know? He was self potty trained in four days. No accidents since. We only had to eat ice cream in front of him once. Makes me wonder why we didn’t try it earlier. But then? He may not have been ready then, either. Too bad potty training wasn’t an exact science. *sigh*
from BC, Canada
I found that my boys took interest in training WAY later than you would expect. My first boy (he’ll be 6 in October), he was just about 4 when he finally took interest in it. My second boy (4), took interest a little earlier, but not by much. What I found is that if they aren’t ready, there is nothing you can do to convince them. But when they are ready, it’s like an overnight transition. It goes very quickly. Personally I think that the moms that say they have their kids trained by the time they are 18 month are just trained to know when their kids go. I think it’s the mom’s that get trained, not the kids.
I know this isn’t what you wanted to hear but that’s the way it went in my house.
from your moms.
I’m there on that potty training wagon with ya, except I don’t have a boy to train. She’s only ever done #2 once on the potty, but nothing since then. She tells us AFTER she’s done it in her undies or pull-ups. With peeing she’s a little more consistent about, EXCEPT when we’re at home. Then it’s like she completely forgets what she is supposed to do. She also did the “watch the pee hit the carpet” thing. Ugh.
Anyway, like others have already said, he’ll get it eventually. And probably sometime before he starts grade school.