Kathy said during early evening on May 13, 2007
As part of my Mother’s Day bonus time, I got a chance to actually go shopping, by myself. It’s not a totally rare occasion.. I mean I can technically run up to the local mall and shop if I wanted to. But I tend to neglect my needs, so more often I tell myself, “I’ll go another day” and I never do. Mother’s Day was the day. I went shopping, without having to drag a kid with me. No stroller, no strapping in and out of car seats, no making sure I have a diaper and a sippy cup of water with me. I just grabbed my purse and ran like the wind. Well okay I drove, but still.
I decided to take full advantage and go to the one store no one in my family would ever want to accompany me to (except maybe my mother), Victoria’s Secret. It’s been far too long since I um, updated my undergarments. I am ashamed to admit I am still washing and wearing my maternity underwear. They are plain and hideous but, THE most comfortable underwear on the planet. Needless to say, I thought it was high time I upgraded because let’s face it. My underwear drawer was starting to resemble that of a woman in her 80’s (think all nude all the time) rather than the young spry almost 31 year old like myself. It’s purely shameful.
I wandered in with reckless abandon and was immediately overwhelmed. I know VS is the Holy Grail of knickers but I need to have a word with their marketing department. I felt like I was in a music video for the Pussy Cat Dolls. Now, I’m not a prude. I can take my fair share of panties and lingerie and *gasp* even sex toys (I fully endorse Booty Parlor, see? Not Prude.) but this bordered on tacky. You are just bombarded with CRAP from the second you walk in the store. I just needed a couple of bras and some underwear for crying out loud. Which is of course all the way in the back of the store.
So I wade through the Sea of Slut and make it to the Wall of Bras. *googlie eyes* I had no idea that there were 40 different models to choose from. It was more difficult than buying a damn car. There is the Body by Victoria collection, the Angels Collection and 400 other collections… then you have to pick from demi, full coverage, wire, no wire, lace, push up, satin, cotton, remote control, takes out the garbage… I mean Jesus H its a BRA. It took me 40 minutes just to pick one to try on. I eventually left with two bras. I got home and realized I got the wrong kind and now I have to return one. I got a full coverage lined bra (us gals who have breastfed need the padding ok?) instead of a demi lined bra from the Body by Victoria. Not that I cannot live in a full coverage bras but they make me feel a litte bit like a battle axe or that I should be wearing a matching sweater set and a poodle skirt.
I swear it was harder than ordering a latte at Starbucks… and for a gal who only gets a tall non fat decaf sugar free vanilla latte… thats hard.
