Kathy said during before the baby got up on April 20, 2010
The night we saw the hooker was the night we went to see Jim Breuer do stand up at the Palm Beach Improv. Fantastic show. I am reminded of it this morning because he did a whole bit about kids and how they are when they wake up in the morning. The difference:
Me? Barely awake, not had coffee, eyes still adjusting, hair askew.
My oldest son has currently been awake for mere minutes and he is hammering a wooden table.
Me: “What are you doing?”
Him: “I’m HAMMERING, Mom.”
At this moment there is not enough coffee in the WORLD to make hammering ok.
Kathy said during early evening on April 12, 2010
Hello?..........
Anybody there?.........
No?… I didn’t think so.
Funny story… We were coming home from date night on Friday night around midnight (I know… late for a couple with 2 kids but we had a babysitter and we were at a late comedy show and… oh yeah I forgot no one is listening anyway so I can go off on weird irrelevant tangents and no one will notice. Right? Right.) and we took a back road home. The mistake in doing so was that we were blessed to witness a prostitute, several actually. But one stood out to me the most. She had the biggest, largest, HUGEST boobs I have ever seen in my entire life. Including the freaks on the Internet. I mean.... they were just. Massive.
I started to feel sorry for her. What a horrible life that you have the World’s Largest Breasts and you have to stand on a street corner in West Palm Beach Florida of all places and hook. I felt bad for her back. I felt bad for her imaginary kid at home watching tv and eating cheetos while his Grandmother slept in a chair. (I’ve seen too many Law & Order shows). I felt bad for her.
Until she flopped her giant massive breast at me and waved.
Kathy said during lunch time on March 26, 2009
I got a much needed email regarding this blog that has made me decide to not use it for a while. My inspiration lies in many other things besides talking about myself...and really, I’ve been blogging since 2001 - I think that’s quite enough, don’t you? But I am not going away… I’m around in more ways than one:
Moxie Design Studios - My original passion and where I’ll be concentrating more of my blogging efforts.
SafeMama.com - My pet. I blog there 3-4 days a week and it’s what keeps me interested in blogging at all right now.
LovelySafeMama.com - My Second pet… natural skin care and beauty reviews… more fun than giving you a blow by blow of the condition of my uterus or where I stand with potty training.
and of course, when “blogging” for personal reasons, I tend to take the easy way out:
Twitter.com/pinkmartinis
Flickr.com
I may resurrect this blog at some point but the pressure to keep it up is more of a nagging sensation (like being too busy to pee) than something that gives me any kind of pleasure. In the meantime, I’ll be working, writing and finishing up my gestation project due this July. I’ll be reading you though! Let me know where I can find the few of you who actually read this site anymore and I’ll be stopping by!
Kathy said during evening on January 16, 2009
Hello! Happy 2009! I’m blogging… and totally cross blogging some of this but, just deal. I have been in a funky place lately… work has been constant and great but life seems to have a mind of it’s own. My 3 year old started pre-school (I had no idea preschool cost money… ew). I’m glad to have the extra time, believe me but it seems to all get sucked into a vortex somewhere. Then, my husband ran the Disney Marathon last weekend (his first! 3 hours 52 min) so life got sucked up by that. This weekend is my sons 3rd birthday party, and let me just say, I am not one of those mothers. In fact as much as I want him to have a birthday party - his first real one - I literally hate planning entertaining events in my home. Some people just have a knack for it and seem to be throwing a party every month. I, on the other hand, can live without the stress of planning and preparing. To follow up a month of non-stop action, I need to fly up to New York for my dear sweet grandmother’s 80th birthday party next weekend. So good-bye January.
Now, on TOP of all that’s been happening, I have been hiding a very important factor in all of this. I am pregnant, again. In fact I have been pregnant for almost 14 weeks and not in a fun way either. I was sick and queasy from Thanksgiving Day through Christmas so the holidays were particularly horrific for me. There is nothing worse than being completely revolted by food when you are constantly surrounded by it, and then still gaining a couple pounds thanks to fluids and baby and whatever the hell else happens in there in the first trimester.
With this new chaos surrounding me I am hoping to rekindle my enjoyment of blogging for the sake of blogging. I might change things around here, ditch the ads and go au natural. Who knows. I’m currently in Florida so the instances of weird things that become bloggable are quadrupled thanks to my ridiculous neighbors and their pets and/or random weirdos. Also? Both my parents AND my in-laws are within walking distance of my home for the next 2+ months. Things could get ugly.
So, to recap...pregnant again, hopefully inspired to blog again. And yes I will be blogging about being pregnant and if you dont want to hear it, well, I’m not a circus monkey and don’t to tricks for food so it’s all I got at this point but I’ll try to keep the Mom crap to a dull roar.
So what’s new with you?
Kathy said during evening on November 25, 2008
So, remember all that stuff I said about having house guests for Thanksgiving and all the mushy picnic table talk? Well scratch that. My guests have called and canceled at the last minute. I won’t get into why or whether I’m surprised (which honestly, I’m not) but in light of this new development that leaves interesting things to ponder. Such as…
What the hell am I going to do with a 19 lb turkey? There is two of us and a 3 year old… had I known I would have gotten a small turkey breast and called it a day. But now there is the inconvenient truth of the thawing 19 pounder in my fridge. I’ve gotten a couple good suggestions on what to do with it:
- Donate it to a soup kitchen (I could, I would.. but its far and that’s not fun..)
- Throw it off the 2nd story deck into the backyard
- Drag it behind my car around the neighborhood
- Put children’s clothes on it and tie it to the front of our golf cart and drive it to Target
- Re-freeze it and then let it skid down our very steep hill of a street into the cul-de-sac and repeat as needed
- Cook it and eat turkey sandwiches until I can’t look at turkey ever again (likely but again with the non-fun)
- Paint it to look like a rock and hide it in a neighbors garden
- Name it, put it in a stroller and walk it around telling people I had another baby .. then watch their reactions
- Hang it on the front door like a holiday wreath
- Bring it to a nail salon and ask them to give it a pedicure
- Put it under my shirt and pretend to give birth in the parking lot of the grocery store (suggestion courtesy of Joelle)
Obviously, this is still a rough draft… I welcome your humble recommendations.
Kathy said during mid-morning on November 22, 2008
I’ve suddenly become unexpectedly required to cook and entertain Thanksgiving dinner this year. As much as I was looking forward to a quiet, no-pressure, cook if we feel like it Turkey Day, I am a little bit looking forward to the festiveness of the day. When I was a kid I loved Thanksgiving because it brought some expected change to our house. My mother always cooked and that itself brought a new dynamic to the house. She’d be up early in her bathroom rubbing oil on a turkey.. (I swear I just said that with a straight face) and we’d drag the picnic table in the house to accommodate our large family for dinner. She’d bring out the while laced table cloth and we’d have candles and the house would be kind of hot from the oven. I’d watch the parade in my pajamas while my mom slaved on a stuffing recipe.
In truth, from her perspective it probably was a big pain in the ass. For me it meant the picnic table set up remained the whole weekend and we got to eat turkey sandwiches there. I was always bummed when the picnic table left. So I’m cooking and although I won’t be dragging a picnic table in the house I still have that whole vibe going on in my head. Turkey is already thawing (a 19 lb-er) and I have my list prepared for the insanity at the grocery stores. I’m not sure what inspired I write this but I had to get that picnic table memory out of my head.
I guess this time of year is when I get my nostalgia geared up since the day after Thanksgiving we will be inundated with Holiday commercials and fa la la until we want to stab people. I may cling to this Thanksgiving feeling as long as I can to thwart the Holiday madness. It’s hard to do when your neighbors put their xmas lights up the day after Halloween but I can try. I will eat turkey stuffing and cranberry sauce sandwiches until I puke if I have to.
Are YOU cooking this year?
